Don't live, exist instead.

2010-09-10T20:38:00.002+08:00

Quite a while since I last posted. I have no words to describe how I feel actually.

Hate.
Hate.
Hate.
Jealousy.
Jealousy.
Jealousy.
Pain.
Pain.
Pain.
Hurt.
Hurt.
Hurt.
LONE.

Okay, bye.

2010-07-05T18:33:00.004+08:00

Hii3.

iie
'm
n0t
Cassi3
Ch3w
Miinz
Miinz.

Gu3ss wh0 'm iie!

I love Cassandra Chew Minzx Minzx. :)

2010-06-27T21:49:00.001+08:00

Never ever try to be on cloud nine. It'll change, like how I once thought I used to be the happiest girl on earth.

2010-06-25T20:51:00.003+08:00

I'm sorry that I'd been neglecting this blog. But, I'm posting today because it's MJ's 1st death anniversary. & ~~I guess the next time I'll be posting is when I already uploaded all the Cambodia pictures.~~ Speaking about it. I miss the place over @ there. :(

2010-06-14T21:47:00.002+08:00

Happy monthsary with Boyf. ^^
I love you! I never failed to be happy when I'm with you! <3

2010-06-12T22:33:00.005+08:00

Sorry for the delay of the pictures! Cos I wasn't at home ever since I came back from Cambodia till today. So here they are. (15 up only please be patient okay! ^^

2010-06-09T20:45:00.000+08:00

CAMBODIA

2010-05-28T10:49:00.003+08:00

Remember the photo below? This one is taken after I cut my hair. The bottom one is before I cut. Got difference one okay. Haha.

I guess today will be a sad day for ~~everyone~~ me.

2010-05-27T11:10:00.005+08:00

I'd gotten back my results. I'd managed to mantain my position. Then why am I still not satisfied?

Results are as followed :
English - B4
High Chinese - B4
A Maths - A1
E Maths - A1
Physics - B4
Chem, Bio - A1
Hist, SS - B3
Poa - A1
Class Position - 3rd (^^)

One day, when I'm gone from this world. Who will be the ones who will grieve and moan and wished they had treated my better? Who will be the ones cheering and clapping for my absence in this world? Who will be the ones who will miss my presence? Who will be the ones who will forget me in one or two years? Who will wished they had died with me? Who will be the ones who will remember the smile I hung on my face? Who will be the ones who will remember the bad deeds I did? & Who will be the ones, who truly appreciate me for who I am?

2010-05-26T21:30:00.002+08:00

Bad day in the morning. I totally forgotten about the cambodia meeting. And I'd to rushed like hell to school. Luckily the teacher in charge didn't scold. Phew. Today's my mother's birthday. Happy birthday ma ma. ^^ I love you.

I'm never loved.

2010-05-25T20:25:00.001+08:00

Free day @ East Coast today. I got a little sun burnt. Skin's red! HAHA. And I fell while rollerblading and I've a big scratch on my leg as big as my hand. I didn't know it was that big until I was bathing. Very pain!

2010-05-22T17:37:00.003+08:00

Sjab test today. Hate the seniors. They didn't even inform us that we don't need to bun our hair. Make me until so ugly. Irritating. On the brighter side, boyf came to find me, and we ate lunch together before walking around in west mall till around 3pm before we proceeded home. Love him to the max. Sighs. My father maybe want to bring us go watch iron man. But I don't want! I want to watch my channel U show. :(

2010-05-21T16:19:00.002+08:00

Finally collected all my papers back.

Physics: 56.5/100 (Very disappointing.)
POA: 90/100 ( ^^ )
Social studies: 30/50 (I don't know shld I be happy or not.)
History: 33/50 (Same as ss.)
E maths P1: 66/80 (I'm so not satisfied. I targeted higher.)
E maths P2: 38/50 (Disappointing although deserved.)

Sighs.

2010-05-20T21:07:00.008+08:00

I miss him.

Results update. :(

English: 63/100 (added overall)
Chinese: 61/100 (I anyhow approximately calculate one)
Chem: 72/100
Bio: 56.5/60
A maths: 70/100

Wasn't really happy. Although I knew I deserved this marks. Why can't just people be contented with their MARKS!!! :(

Best, in your darkest hour, in your deepest despair, I would light up the path for you and hopefully guide you along.

2010-05-19T20:29:00.006+08:00

Sighs. Results are out tomorrow. I wonder how well I'll fare. I know very well I won't do well for Physics and A maths. I want to face the fact. But I cannot. I cannot believe all I did was panicked during the exams and that's it. Off my marks went. Wow. I cannot bring myself to smile now. But I enjoyed my day with boyf today, he's really sweeeeet. Me love him but I seriously don't know why he keep dnt want to reply my messages. I'm very worried. I had cambodia meeting too. Haha. Besty, I hoped you cheer up a little today. Although I know I did minimum help only. I love you.

2010-05-18T13:42:00.003+08:00

I really want to smile happily everyday. & I'd tried. I hope people can tell, I tried. But I don't know how to, with my father in and out of risks every single day. My mother getting so stressed up over work and her husbang. My boyf gets scolded by his parents becos of me. My boyf isn't even replying my messages. & my best friend is in such distress. & me, worrying about my MYE results. I'm useless. I wished I could do something to help. Just the slightest thing. To steal a slight smile from them. Just that little smile. I guess, it'll be enough to make my day. But no. I couldn't do. Anything. But I'll silently be there. For them all. I love you all.

& Best, I hope you wouldn't hide your problems within you. I hope you'll tell me. Tell me so much that I can help you. I don't want you to fall apart. I want you like how you used to be. I don't want you to keep things from me just because you want me to know you're okay. I know you're not. And it worries me even more. I wished I could do more to help you.

2010-05-17T14:59:00.002+08:00

Exams are officially over. Mid year exams I mean. So, I seriously don't know whether to be sad or happy. Because, I know very well, I won't do well. Whatever it is, it's over. No use crying over a spilt milk. So, what are my holiday plans? GCE O'levels chinese paper. -.- I hate you.

MY PHONE RAN OUT OF BATT. Called boyf but he didn't answer... Miss him alot. :( So, I'm going to sleep now. SICK :( Bye.

And Bestyy. ^^ I'm so going to squeeze your troubles out of you till you're dry one of this day!

2010-04-20T14:16:00.002+08:00

Mrs Oh is being so irritating. I'm sitting right in the front for E Maths computer lab session. And she's using a mike to speak. And she's pratically screaming into her mike. Damn it. -.- Later got chinese test. Fuck Lim Guek Lee.

2010-04-17T10:08:00.002+08:00

Well, I feel so useless. I couldn't cheer my best friend up. I just couldn't. The more I want to help sometimes, the more I don't know what to do. :( I wished I could take all the pain away from her. To help her relieve all her burdens. To make her a happy girl. I'm willing to do anything. Anything, just for her to be happy. I wished I were the one who needs to bear this kinda pain. :(

& Boyf. I'm so sorry, I'm lousy girlf. :(

What am I exactly. :(

2010-04-11T10:50:00.010+08:00

Festivo yesterday was great. Although didn't really play alot, overall, I loved the atmosphere. Haha, there wasn't as many people as I thought there will be. But my mother and brother came to the carnival. ^^ I didn't managed to catch the BM got talent, and also didn't manage to go to try out the haunted house. :( Becos I've got duty and tuition. So, be it. Haha. Just my luck. But I'd a memorable day with Boyf. Haha. Alot of small kids came to patronise our class' store. Cute lor.

As for today, woke up early to go pray for my maternal grandfather. Going for my piano lessons soon. After that, gonna come back to finish all my homework. ALOT LEH. -'-

Light my path, for me.

Edited.
Completed most of my homeworks. But I'm so not planning to do my emaths, tmr then let her go through with me la. Haha. My house's very very noisy. My brother and my mother is quarreling and my mother just slapped my brother. -.- Damn it sia. Noisy only.

Edited.

Well, I'm going to start studying Physics (Create notes I guess) after this post. And, I suddenly want a camera before my Cambodia trip! :( So I can take pictures of the place over there. :( Haha, okay enough of craps. Tata.

2010-04-09T08:26:00.003+08:00

Hi. I'm currently in the lab doing peer marking for the report that I'd rushed the last two days. So, tmr's the festivo. I guess it will be a busy day if there'll be a lot of people.

Tears that are held.

Edited.
Hi once again. Just came back from the hospital to visit my grandmother. I've lots of homework that I haven't completed. But I'm really tired. Yet, imagine, I still can on the computer and use. What the hell is wrong with me. And I couldn't stop eating either. Damn. Stayed back in school today to help out in the preparations of the festivo. I'm not sure if our stall will be great...

So, that's all. Bye.

Exam timetable,

2010-04-05T20:45:00.003+08:00

I'd gotten my exam time table already. :( Just by looking at it makes me feel so stressed up. :( & now, I don't even know if I should do my chinese homework. Becos she said it was optional. But. I'm so lazy. I laughed alot with Boyf today on my way back home. 'm happy. ^^ Sighs.

& Good news is: Besty's allowed to come for the Cambodia trip toooooo!!!! YAY. ^^

Cheerup besty! ^^

Homework sucks,

2010-04-04T13:15:00.000+08:00

Gonna meet Besty today at my house. Haha, guess we're either going for gym or doing homework. I don't know how to do my ss la. :(

I'll smile,

2010-04-03T13:35:00.001+08:00

Arg, I miss my boyf. He went for cruise. :(

Nehru! ,

2010-04-02T10:56:00.005+08:00

Here, my promise. I hope I don't leave any parts out! ^^

Day 1: 22/03/2010.
Meet Boyf for a while before proceeding to the hall to gather. Miss him like hellz. In the hall, realised that I wasn't in the same group with Besty. And I was very demoralised in terms of participating in the camp. Hmm, proceeded to the bus a few minutes later. That time, Boyf already went for class already. :( So, we reached the jetty in a while. Haha, my bag was frigging heavy! My group was NEHRU. We did some admin stuff and got to know our instructors - Shameel and Rendal. After that, on the boat we went. Same boat with Besty! Haha, was sitting behind her with Vinny and was applying my sunblock. Reached OBS camp 1 and started off with "confiscating our personal valuables". Didn't surrender my phone anyway. Haha, then. We drew something and played a few group games. Haha, we managed to beat the other schools' high score. Lol. Didn't do anything much. But I pitched tents with Ky and Vinny while the others cooked. ^^ Bathed, night walked and lights out!

Day 2: 23/03/2010.
I'm the IC for the day w/ Ky! HAHA. Woke up damn early today to unpitch tents. But it was fun. ^^ So, becos of the YOG thingy, we played a few games which includes the giant rope, giant ski, ball juggling and the wooden plank. But it rained suddenly, so we had to proceed indoors. Haha, although we lost thoroughly, I think we enjoyed it. Haha. We went to pack our stuffs for the sea expedition for 1 or 2 hours before getting ready to learn how to row a boat. Lol, I was practically sun tanning at the floating platform becos I was the last group to learn the skills. But Rendal told us about quarries. Haha. Ate a bread for lunch and then we proceeded to take our HEAVY bagpacks. I was carrying a tent you know. :( So frigging heavy.

So, I was in the same boat as Ky, Siew Chen, Vinny, Hee Eun, Boon Kiat and Loi Bin. It was kinda fun as we sang the school song to overcome our tiredness. But in the end, we still reached there last. Lol. Since Ky and me were the ics, we needed to help them carry their bag packs to the camp site. Train muscles only. -.- So, we were the last ones to change into our sleeping attire. While changing, I suddenly heard a lot of people screaming in the outside. And it was really scary. I heard alot of flies' foot step. When I looked up, I realised so many fcuking flies above. And it's really alot. I SWEAR. No exaggeration.

And what made things worse was the net was broken, allowing flies to come in as and when they wanted. So, I panicked. I didn't know what happened outside, and I didn't know what to do inside. When I open the tent's door, some many flies came flying into my face. I screamed and closed it back. I never dared to open it again. :( So, Ky helped us and I ran out like crying. Sham told me that a leader should never show her group her weakness, and I'll always remember this. ^^ Seriously, it was damn scary. But dinner that night was pretty delicious although it's maggi mee. Haha. Night duty in the night and I noticed a lot of stars (pretty!) After that, we slept. I'm starting to love camp. ^^

Day 3: 24/03/2010.
I "LOST" MY PHONE. :(At around 6, we woke up, brushed teeth, prepared and had our breakfast. Once again, I lifted my heavy bagpack and started my very own journey - land expedition. I was quite upset becos I couldn't find my phone. Although I found it later to be inside the stinky and damp tent. Lol. Throughout this journey, the group was really united and we managed to make it to the quarry on time. ^^ We did rafting! Our group's raft didn't break you know. And we were the ones who snatched the sword from Elizabeth! HAHA. After that, we carried on with our land expedition with my wet clothes and shoes. I swear my whole feet turned white when I reached my destination. And it hurts like hell. Plus we had extra punishment - that is to walk for a few more metres for not meeting on time. :( So, like finally, we reached Camp 2. And thanks Cheryl for exchanging my heavy bag pack with hers for a while! ^^ Pitched tent, bathed and dinner. I was almost crazy over the mushroom soup. Damn nice okay. So, we went to sleep. Very peacefully after the tiring day.

Day 4: 25/03/2010.
Did some morning exercise and trekked back to Camp 1. This time, I carried my bag pack all the way you know! ^^ *Proud. Halfway through our journey, we had a challenge to overcome before we can proceed and that's to balance on the wooden rod. Everyone in the group had to finish it without falling. And both groups did well. Happy. ^^ Continued trekking till we return to base camp and we prepared for heights element! WOOTS. Haha, I was pretty disappointed as it turned out to rain when we were like so exicted about the outdoors activity which looked so challenging. But in the end, we tried out the indoor one instead. So, I managed to complete 2 elements. Yay! - Double decker dual & Snake and ladder. I partnered with Yuting for the first one and we were the first pair double that reached the top! Haha, yay! We took quite a long time and I thank the group for being so patient waiting. Our instructor also kept gaving us encouraging words and taught us the method to climb. Thanks!

Had celebration dinner as it was the last night. We cooked fried rice and stuff. The group was like debating whether to add vegetables into the fried rice. So, since I was the only source of obstacle, I told them to add it in. The rice had became porridge becos of some miscommunication but we managed to salvage the situation. ^^ Haha, Ky and Rendal played a prank on me and Nabeelah. Wth! Haha, Sham also made apple crumble! Yummy. When I tasted the food, I didn't want to have it anymore becos the vegetable was pure bitter. Sham, kind-heartedly decided to make cereal for me. Hee, the cereal damn nice.

But after having it, I was damn bloated. We went to a floating platform to write our journals. However, I was already starting to feel nauseous becos of the swaying motion of the platform and my bloated stomach. I managed to survived till the camp site before I blacked out. Everyone panicked. Especially instructors, Ky, Vinny, Siew Chen. My apologies! Sham carried me all the way back to the medical centre for the doctor to help me. Haha, after I regained conscious, I went back to bathe around 12.40am already. I slept in the same tent w/ Ky, Vinny, Cheryl and Yuting. We talked. Vinny slept first, followed by Ky and Cheryl. Yuting and I continued to talk for awhile before she went to sleep. Becos of space constrain, I didn't manage to sleep a bit. And I was freezing at night! But overall an awesome night w/ them.

Day 5: 26/03/2010.
We just did some packing, washing up and sovenier shopping. And can you imagine, I was practically using my bare hands to pick up rubbish tissues from the stupid girls' toilet. Wtf. :( But it's okay. Proceeded to MPH with all our things and had last briefing. Sham cried! Haha, didn't expect that. But was touched. He told us a poem "I want to go home". And I almost cried but didn't becos it was really nice. We went back to punggol jetty after that. And I miss OBS! :(

I guess I'll never forget my experience in OBS. It taught me how to be strong. ^^ I love OBS!

P/S: One of the days, Besty suddenly cried when she hugged me. Scare me! But I love her! ^^ Miss Boyf and her a lot during the camp!

That's about it. ^^

Eng Compo Writing,

2010-03-29T20:54:00.002+08:00

Well, this is the composition I'd written for the writing competition. Although I didn't win anything, but I just put it up for my memory. ^^ Enjoy & leave your opinions too okay?

“Sir?” she repeats. “Would you like to have a cup of hot chocolate to warm yourself?”

I flared up upon hearing the word “chocolate”. The waitress stared at me with eyes of astonishment and for a moment, I regretted my immediate act of folly. She responded instantly to my outburst and scurried away, still confused of what is happening. My life had never been the same ever since that incident which occurred just a few weeks back. I had been submerged in my own world, deep with thoughts and constantly in a daze subsequently.

“Will soft music do for now?” Damien suggested as he was browsing through the available CDs. “I would definitely prefer some pop songs to accommodate with the threatening bank of dark clouds outside.” Carl disagreed and started searching for his preference of songs. The three of us were in my second-hand car, on the way to Kent Road – our childhood usual hangouts. It had been long since we went back to reminisce the old days and thus, we agreed unhesitatingly on this ominous day.

Chatting like grandmothers in the market, we started to recall those wonderful days we spent together...

Damien, Carl and I had been the best of friends since the age of five. We first met at Chocolaty Delights just a stress across our homes. The store was tiny and squished between two other stores, both of which had been closed ever since the owners were hounded by loan sharks. From the side-walk, Chocolaty Delights looks like a posting board for cigarette and alcohol advertisements. Therefore, it was not very popular with kids. Inside, a wire rack holds all the best chocolates hung over the front of the counter. Then, we were young and immature. However, fate brought us together by allowing us to set our hands on the same bar of chocolate at the same time. We passed cheeky grins to one another like what any five years old would do.

Every weekend, we would spend a dollar on the chocolates and scramble down to the nearest playground to polish off the ambrosial chocolate. Often, we compete for the fastest finisher of the bar of chocolate. Usually, the winner would demand for another bar of chocolate. Without fail, Damien will always be the fastest among us and we named him the “big mouth” since. He collected the chocolates we gave him as rewards and stacked them up together like lego blocks for us to play as toys. Laughter never failed to arouse the liveliness of the playground whenever the three of us were there.

...“Come on! Let’s make a promise that we will never be apart!” Carl insisted as we were in high spirits, wriggling his fingers. He wanted us to “hook our pinkies” and make a pact denoting our life time friendship. Just as I was distracted by Carl’s sudden request, our car skied through the wet road and collided into a lorry due to my negligence. The wind screens were broken into smithereens and the car was overturned. I was the only one conscious after the accident. Frantically, I yelled for passer-bys to help to call for the ambulance. However, it was all too late. I caused the death of my two best friends.

Flash backs of the past rummaged through my mind. Not able to cope with my emotional feelings, I was close to a break down. How can anyone ever accept the deaths of two very close ones in just one day? Everything took place so abruptly.

So sad,

2010-03-28T11:03:00.004+08:00

I'm back from obs. But I thought it was a bad thing. I miss my instructor -Shameel. I wished he was my father. :x So many things happened. He helped me a lot. :( If he was my father, I bet I would be the happiest girl on earth. I regretted not being able to thank and apologise to him for the trouble I caused. To thank him for caring for me, and to apologise for making him worried. :( I guess, I'll never forget this very nice instructor. ^^

Hmm, I'll do my obs posting officially during this week end okay? ^^

The harder you try to forget something, the more you think about it unconsiously.

OBS,

2010-03-21T21:08:00.005+08:00

Away for camp till the 26th. :(
I'm so going to miss my boyf. Perhaps I'll be home sick? Who knows?
Haha, boyf, I love you okay. I'll miss you alot! <3

Deep thoughts,

2010-03-19T21:42:00.004+08:00

Well, just 2 things that I'd discovered about myself about my love for reading storybook:
1. I can never accept the story book if it didn't had a happy ending. (I seriously will cry.)
2. I hate being kept in suspense. (So I would read and read. Eg. Shopaholic and baby.)

I've no idea why. If the book was really sad, my mood will totally be affected. I'll be sad along with it. Is it just me or everyone has the same feeling? Haha, wierd, I know.

I love reading (happy ending books). Sometimes, it really really cheers me up, ya' know?

I hate me,

2010-03-16T21:38:00.003+08:00

I hate myself. I just felt that I'd changed. To become more bad-tempered. I tried to control my feelings sometimes here and there. I really tried. But I just kept showing a fcuking black face. :( I didn't mean to. I did it to everyone. WHY? I hate me.

I'm very very sorry.

Had a great day out with Best, Ky, Tracy, Faye, Zen and some parts (boyf). I really enjoyed. But I seriously want to apologise for my part in ruining your day. I'm really really sorry. :(

:( :( :( Hate me.
Why don't you tell me of your troubles anymore? :(

L.O.V.E,

2010-03-15T21:17:00.002+08:00

Happy monthsary boyf, I love you alot! Though I always shouted and be like a crazy woman to you, you always endured it. I'm so sorry. I'll change. I love you forever ~.

Today, went out with Boyf to sort of celebrate our monthsary as well as his belated ~~~ birthday. I still haven't got him his present becos we didn't have enough time today. :( Feel so guilty. Anyway, went to (somewhere in Orchard, becos I seriously don't know where) to catch "Alice In Wonderland". Very very nice. Especially, it had been a long time since I caught a movie with Boyf. Love him ttm. After that, we went to Queensway to look at his spectacles. Saw one frameless (?) one. It really suits Boyf. Plus it had lots of advantages. So, boyf said he was going to buy it only tmr. Well, I really love going out with boyf. Although I pissed him off really badly today. I'm so so so sorry.

And yesterday, Best and Faye came to my house for gym. Haha, long time since we ran becos I'd been busy studying. -.- Bought a book. Hee hee, so happy. Tmr going to the flyer's with Best, Zen, Rena, Ky, Tracy and Faye. ^^

I woke up, unable to open my eyes. It's like swollen becos of crying, and I think I'd been crying through the night. I'd a bad nightmare.

Mrs oh (featured),

2010-03-08T12:40:00.001+08:00

In com lab now. Mrs Oh is such a bom bom. -.- Triangles, circles and lines. -.-

Relieved,

2010-03-07T16:18:00.002+08:00

Haha, I'm currently trying to memorise my script for the chinese presentation. And wtf. That day, during chinese, I was trying my best to stay awake. Then, I was so like going to fall asleep. Suddenly, the stupid teacher say last few minutes, who's turn to present. Like totally shocked. I like straight away jumped to my senses. And I panicked. -.-

I stood infront of the class, and nothing came out. I mean, I cannot remember what I wanted to say. Luckily the bell rang and it saved me. Thank God. So tmr, it'll be my turn to present again. Hope it won't turn out like friday's. Total embarassment I tell you.

Bye.

Another stressful week ahead,

2010-03-06T22:08:00.002+08:00

Well, I thought only one week had past. But when I see the last date I posted, I realised, it was almost two weeks I stopped posting. :( How sad. Well, some of the important thing is, I read finish my book already. And it's frigging frigging frigging nice I tell you. Gonna borrow best's book and continue to feed my reading pleasure. ^^And and, best wrote "I love Cassandra Chew Min Min" on her book. LOL. So good right. ^^

Me boyf also downloaded Michael Jackson's songs for me. ^^ Yipeeeeee.

So, basically, two tests up next week.

Tuesday - E maths on inequalities.
Thursday - Physics ON I SO DNT KNW WHAT STUPID TOPIC. -.-

And, I've so many stupid stupid homework to complete. Plus a few more days, Boyf's and Tracy's birthdays are coming. Have no time/idea what to buy. :( :( :(

Plus, I'm so prepared to fail my chem test. ^^ They called us to study chapter 1 and 3, and tested on chapter 2. Pro or pro? ^^

Kay, bye for now.

Am I just being over-sensitive?

Driving strength,

2010-02-19T16:08:00.002+08:00

Yes, why am I blogging? To let myself know the amount of tests that is upcoming so that I would jolly well buck up. ^^

Monday (22nd feb.) - Social studies test (Principle of good governance, traffic policies, effects of slow population growth), POA test (On everything I'd learnt so far).

Tuesday (23rd feb.) - E maths common test. (Chapter 1 & 2).

Wednesday (24th feb.) - Fortunately, no tests.

Thursday (25th feb.) - Chem test, Bio test.

Friday (26th feb.) - History test (Reasons for failure of LON, Resons why Germany hated VT.).

Monday (1st mar.) - A maths common test. (Chapter 1 & 2, includes log. God.)

So. Great or great? -.- Damn it. On days which has two tests, good luck to me. But I've really no mood to study now. This few days, just got the urge to keep sleeping and sleeping.

Slap me. -.-

Muahaa,

2010-02-18T20:41:00.002+08:00

Cross country tomorrow. Looking forward becos long time since I ran on ground with Best! ^^ Just randomly surfing blogs now. Hmm, going to study soon.

Tata.

What a failure,

2010-02-17T21:33:00.003+08:00

I'm so sad. I'm sucha failure. I flunked all my tests. What the hell is wrong with me now? Guess what?

Physics: 57/100.
English: 19/50 (Although this is only an assignment.)

And as for my A maths test today, I'm so fcuking going to flunk it. :( Why? I don't understand. I did studied you know? I DID. :( Nevermind. I've to so fcuking buck up.

Arg,

2010-02-16T20:06:00.002+08:00

Chinese new year was bad! Visits were short, and I've got so little ang bao only. -.- And for today, I was stuck at home with no where to go and almost the whole day in the damn toilet becos I've got bloody damn diahhroea. Wtf, I really cannot tahan the pain. And I almost fainted twice becos I was practically sweating like a crazy dog in the stuffy toilet, and yeah, I felt giddy and see blur. I also vomitted. What a great new year. -.-

Plus there's school tmr. I wonder if I'm going to survive if I go to school tmr. Will I be stucked in the toilet? Or faint somewhere? O_O Hopefully I'm well tmr. Becos I've got no MC. And, I've got a bloody A maths test tmr. God slap me. -.-

Spring cleaning,

2010-02-13T16:57:00.001+08:00

Just thinking, shouldn't Chinese New Year be one occasion when everyone just refrain from shouting and scolding one another? And guess what? Just because helping out to clean a fucking house could get you scolded for no stupid reason. What a great day. -.-

Happy new year's eve. Tmr: 3 occasions in one day. (Monthsary, 1st day of CNY and valentines day.)

So, yeah. What a day.

A new year up ahead,

2010-02-12T21:12:00.002+08:00

HAHA, new year's eve is tmr! I'm very very happy today. After the new year celebration, Boyf and I accompanied Jb to anchorpoint to pass her roses to her friend. So, after that, we went to queensway as Jb wanted to "buy a barbell". So, we went there. And while walking half way, Boyf said he "wanted to buy muah chee". Then buy quite a while, thn he came back with a bag. Guess what?

HE GAVE ME A WATCH. OMG. I bet it cost a fortune. Although he lied that it's only $15.90. I REALLY LOVE YOU! Don't always anyhow think okay? ^^ He also gave me a helium balloon! ^^

So the three of us later proceeded to kfc to have lunch. After that, we sent Best to the bus stop and returned to walk walk at anchorpoint. Hee, I love my boyf! ^^

FOREVER AND ONLY. ^^

Great,

2010-02-11T19:29:00.001+08:00

Haha, becos of the effort I placed in, I managed to get a pass for chinese. So yeah, 62/80. I know it's not that kind of great. But, I'll try harder. E maths test today, I was able to cope but not so much for 1 question. I don't know if the answer is 4.5 or 45. T_T Haha. So, now, I'm going to do my english compo. Haha, had a long nap just now. Just don't know why it's so tiring.

Bye.

Irritating girl,

2010-02-07T14:20:00.003+08:00

The more I think of you being like a shadow, doing what I wished/wanted to do, the more I feel like giving you a real tight slap. Why are you so irritating?

Chinese test tomorrow, what's more dreadful than that? I hate chinese. Last sunday went out with Boyf, Best and her boyf. Haha, shopping spree! Spent alot of money. And sorry boyf for making you feel so bored that day! Haha, Best and I bought 1 similar dress. After I went home, my mother went down with me to buy my new year shoes. Yay.

So, MJ'S DOCTOR ADMITTED TO HAVING GIVEN HIM MEDICINE WHICH KILLED MJ. FCUK YOU. -'- You got nothing better to do is it. -.-

Well, so much more things for chinese to complete for now. So, bye.

Bad day,

2010-01-29T21:47:00.004+08:00

Firstly, I had a hair cut. (I look like a toot now.) HAHA.

Secondly, I bathed three times a day. (One after I returned from school, one after I had my haircut, and one after a swim.)

Thirdly, I discovered rashes on my NECK. Wtf. -.-

Fourthly, I haven't even done a single homework. (Because I fell asleep.) T_T

Fifthly, this's the second time I've been typing out this post. (Due to some error, damn.) Haha.

Tsk, I regretted not having my dinner. Because I'm now frigging hungry only! >:(

Bye ~.

Hee hee,

2010-01-26T22:07:00.001+08:00

Best, don't be sad already la! ^^ Lub you~! Sure can find de, becos your pencil case lub you like I do. HAHA.

What's happening to me,

2010-01-25T22:06:00.003+08:00

What's happening to me? I've not been like that in the past. Is it due to stress, or what? I don't like this. Especially when I keep attitude-ing my boyf. I'm sorry, really & I lub you. Just want to thank my Best for always being able to tell when I'm not myself. I luv you. I doubt even my parents knows what's going on. Becos, neither do I.

Am I who I used to be?

Cordon me,

2010-01-24T19:31:00.000+08:00

I'm frigging worried now. Becos my boyf'd his phone turned off since I don't know when. And when I tried dialing his house, his mother claimed he was not at home. The last thing he told me was that he was going sun tanning. After that, he didn't reply me at all. God bless you. Reply/Call me asap. Love you.

Tsk, I'm still stucked with my frigging letter writing. -.-
(Homework/Gym day with JBest & Faye = Great.)

Fur,

2010-01-23T21:24:00.004+08:00

Imagine yourself trapped inside tuition for 4 hours. How would you have felt? Well, if you were feeling annoyed, I was just like that before I went to tuition. However. Think positive. Haha, so, I went there and learnt something new after all. ^^

I still have frigging alot of homeworks to complete. And I've to start studying you know! Arg. Hate school. I want CNY! ~

And I'm supposed to type a letter (homework) yet I'm still here posting. -.- Stupid me. Whtever.

Tsk, more than a month after my trip to Taiwan, I'm still missing it like fcuk. -.- Oh ya, I changed my pw, bitch. ^^

Miserably coping within,

2010-01-22T21:15:00.005+08:00

Secondary three life is really really miserable. More than you can imagine or more for me to cope as compared to you. I didn't do any homework today. Managed to get another IC photo for replacement for the old one which the stupid officer said it's too dark (which I agree) but just stating becos I'm not happy that I needed to go and get a new photo. And the more I look at the frigging photo, the more I hate it and I hate it even even more. -.-

So, I just returned from a work out at the gym with my brother and my father. I managed to run 2.4km. But I failed it becos I ran like in 19 minutes? Lol, I know I'm slow la. But I don't understand why when in the lower secs days, I managed to ran in like a just pass (18 minutes) with Best. Maybe it was becos I was running with her that gave me the strength to move on. Haha. ^^ Love her very much.

BOYFFFFFF had been so nice/sweet/loving/great these few days. But I'd been sucha bitch. -.-

I really hope I could do well in my examinations. However, you know, I couldn't even solve 2 questions in A maths, I neeeda ask how to do for every questions. And for POA, I took like 2 hours to solve 2 questions? Wtf. I really needa buck up. I SWEAR I MUST DO WELL!!! ~~~~

I can't stand your flirting ass, you bitch.

Tsk, I can't wait for a shopping spreeeeeee w/ JJJJJBESSSSTTTTTTT. ^^

And, if you want to tag me, leave a comment instead. Becos no one reads my blog, no use putting a tagboard. Haha.

Accusations and you,

2010-01-17T11:42:00.003+08:00

Fcuk, fcuk, fcuk, fcuk, fcuk, fcuk. -.- Go take as many photos as you want. GO. I don't fcuking care. -'- Want some proof? I might show you if you say you want. I have tons of that. Fcuk.

No one cares, should I bother then? What the worth of living for?

Chaotic life,

2010-01-15T21:13:00.008+08:00

Hello, I'm extremely apologetic I didn't posted the past few days. Due to business again. For the first 3 days of the week: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, I only finished my lesson/shit cca at 530. And wtf, I studied like a mad cow because my stupid physics teacher told us there's going to be an upcoming physics test, when there's none. Totally just depriving me of my sleep! Thursday was not so bad. But I didn't managed to sleep early either. So, to make up for all my sleeping time, I SLEPT TODAY. Feel quite replenished but somehow still tired, I know you don't get it. Haha! ^^

So, yesterday. You know what day it was? It may just be a shit day to you. But to me, it meant great importance. Yesterday, was my 1st and the half year together with my beloved, darling, boyf. ^^ Hahahaaaaa. I love him very very very much, more than words can describe. ^^

Many homewors to be completed. Such as, physics, e maths, blah blah. I'll continue tomorrow. P/S: I frigging think Amaths is like easier then Emaths. What a shit I'm. Lol, wierdo.

Bye for now. I know I may not post often, but tune in. ^^

(Deleted. I guess, I shouldn't get my blood boiled in sucha manner.)

BUT. I'll voice out in a kinder way. You (you know who you are.), I frigging didn't invite you to my blog. Yup, you had my password. But you're currently abusing your rights by entering without my consent of yours using my password. Be it in the past I did. Past, is past. Present, is now. You get it? I never imagined you'd sucha thick skin to do this frigging shit. -.- Tsk, and if you think it's you, then it's you.

Stressful,

2010-01-10T20:59:00.004+08:00

One reason why I'm posting seldomly recently: Because I'm too busy with school that all I do is practically burying myself in studies. However, that's one good thing too I guess. I really get to do nothing but just study, study study.

Second reason why I'm no posting so often: I'm too lazy, and I seriously am.

Oh ya. School had been crap. And I flunked my diagnostic test for english. I swear I'm going to do better next time.

So, the real reason why I posted today is because I want to wish and pray to God for my boyf to get good grades tomorrow for his o'levels. ^^

Dear God,
Please let my boyf get good grades. I bet you did see how hardworking he was during that period of time right? I pray hard, and I hope my prayers are answered. ^^ & all the best, BOYF! <3.

Today, I did homework with Best at my house. Haha, we weren't really studying or concentrating. Most of the time, I was disturbing her. HAHA.

And ya, the previous post was done by Jiamin Best. Or JB (Jiao Bin.) LOL. Haha, she's really sweet right, I know. You jealous? HAHAHAHA. Envy me now! :x

2010-01-07T20:08:00.008+08:00

I'm not Cassandra, guess who am i.

I hacked into her account and i don't know when will she get to see this because she's so hardworking she doesn't even use the computer. Haha, opps i hope she doesn't keel me when she sees this.

I just want to say that i love CCB! HAHAHAH.

And i hope she'll always remain happy. /JB

Now, do you know who am i? You're an idiot if you don't. ;)

we'll wear the same clothings and do silly things together.....

we'll take a gazillion pictures and keep them as memory forever.....

And we'll be best friends forever. ;)

Fcuk school,

2010-01-04T21:18:00.001+08:00

I hate school. I hate school. I hate school. School sucked like hell. I swear.

& after I read Best's blog, I became damn worried. D:

Wit's end,

2010-01-03T10:40:00.003+08:00

I really wonder what or who I'm sometimes. Everytime you look into the same sky, the view is different.

(Edited.)
I met Best today. ^ ^ We were supposed to go to the gym. However, Best had to dye her hair back to black, so she came to my house and I helped her with it. Haha, we made a mess in the toilet. And I helped her wash her hair you know! ^ ^ We went to kfc to eat before going back to my house to sit around. Hee, a happy day. ^ ^ Lub my Best very much!

I'M SO NOT READY FOR SCHOOL. BECOS I'M NOT IN THE SAME CLASS AS BEST. WTH.

I miss Boyf!

Smooth Criminal,

2010-01-01T19:26:00.006+08:00

Happy New Year. ^ ^ I'm currently watching one of Michael Jackson's tour performance on tv! So, how had I spent my first day of the new year? Hmm. Stuck up at home. ^ ^ Oh ya, I found a way to upload picture like finally! ^ ^ My mother's lappy have bluetooth! Hee. Kay, I'm going to say no more. Going to catch my show and not blink an eye! LOL.

New year resolution:
1. Study harder then before.
2. Be happy everyday. ^ ^

Sick and tired again.

Bye.

New year's eve,

2009-12-31T11:14:00.008+08:00

Well well, today's the new year's eve as well as my aunty's birthday. Happy birthday there! ^^ However, today is just another typical day. Which meant that it will be horribly, devastatingly, crushingly boring and there was absolutely nothing to do. But, it's okay. I should be contented with life. Haha.

I'm thinking of fun Taiwan like every single day. Diao diao diao. Lol.

(Edited.)
Another step deep down to pain and sorrow. Why did it happened again?
On a lighter note, times flies. It's once again, the end of another year. I read other's blogs and many said their lives were full of ups and downs. But to describe my very own life, I would had said it'd been up at the beginning and down to the very end at the end. Except for the times when i went to Taiwan. So, I still want to say, I lub Boyf, Best, Clique very very much.

Oh ya oh ya, before I go out to celebrate my aunty's birthday. Zenna ~ If you ever see this, tag me and reply me kay. ^ ^ When are you going to register for the maths? Haha. Miss ya.

Doubtful,

2009-12-30T18:12:00.003+08:00

Tsk tsk, mission accomplished. I managed to finish off two frigging chinese book. But I still haven't started on the second book review. Story books rocks, book reviews sucks. -.- Haha, tomorrow's my aunty birthday. My cousin, Jelynn and I planned to give her a surprise! And it's new year's eve tomorrow! Haha, talking about new year, cannot wait for the chinese new year. New clothes, holidays, most importantly, ANG BAOS! ^^

I miss Boyf & Best. D:

(Edited.)
I felt a sudden shake of emptiness after I saw that.

Dolorous,

2009-12-29T21:16:00.003+08:00

I'm happy I went out with Boyf. ^^ Just walked walked but great time. Love him very much. Watching the 9o'clock show now. Hahaaa. Dolorous melody, I love these two words.

I'm getting sadder as the days goes by. Why?

Trip to Taiwan,

2009-12-27T22:02:00.013+08:00

I'm gonna type down what happen during my 7 days to Taiwan now. ^ ^ (I'll try to upload some photos soon kay?)

Day 1. (17 dec 2009)
Flew on an airplane to Taiwan. Was missing Boyf like fcuk during that time! The flight was around noon and we reached Taiwan at 5pm. The sky was practically dark. Imagine the darkness at 5pm! Wow, if we were in Singapore, after my cca, I'd been walking home in darkness! So, we didn't do much on the first day because we arrived quite late. We were warmly welcomed by our tour guide, and we went up the tour bus, proceeding to a restaurant for our dinner. The dinner sucked, really. Except for a fruit which none of us knows what it was. It was green, sour and sweet. After our dinner, around 6.30pm, we went back to our hotel to rest. It just felt like 10pm because of my tiredness and the darkness! Thus, nothing much on the first day. But we were freezing to death because all we brought was thin clothing and jackets. The temperature was 12. ^^ Shiok ah! Haha. We stayed at Yaward hotel for the first day. Still not quite bad. Facilities, okay. But my parents, aunty, uncle and brother were one level lower then us. Haha. I share room with my cousin.

Day 2. (18 dec 2009)
Morning call at 6.30pm. However, I woke up at 2am, 3am and 4am respectively. Perhaps because I wasn't used to the place there yet. Haha, my cousin set her alarm clock at 545am. It was so noisy that obviously I woke up from it. Get ready everything and proceeded down for breakfast. After that, we went back to get our luggage to the tour bus. We went to take a ride on the bullet train and mrt to Chiang Kai Shek museum. The temperature was frigging cold. 9 degrees. :x The place was done up with a lot of flowers. They constructed a person (for I don't know what reason) but they haven't completed the head. Haha, the person is huge! I guess it's for display purposes. We walked a long way and up a huge flight of stairs before reaching a place where a huge statue is sitting on a chair. I guess he's some kind of big thing. Everyone is like taking pictures of him and there's two living guards standing beside the statue, not moving. Haha. The statue is one of a big deal right? ^^ Next, we proceeded to somewhere something like a night market but it doesn't sell clothes, just food. We bought some "muah chee" back for our relatives too. I forgotten if we had beef or pork noodles. But I love the noodles not the pork. Haha, after that, because we had limited time, my cousin and I rushed off to look at the things first. We each bought ourselves a bangle and the shopkeeper was kind to give us a lovely key chain since we bought two of the items. ^^ We were walking back to 7 eleven (our place we were supposed to gather and wait for the tour bus) when we saw my place which sells water bottle. It's shaped like a real baby bottle and it was really cute. We bought it! ^^ So, after that, we went back up on the tour bus and had a long trip before arriving at a place where we watched a cultural dance. Haha, it was nice though. ^^ We proceeded back to our hotel and had dinner downstairs the hotel's restaurant. There's also free internet cafe and I went online. Happy that I was able to talk to Best, but very sad because I couldn't talk to Boyf and also because I found out that things are not great for Best. Haha, a great day though it's mostly sight-seeing. ^^

Day 3. (19 dec 2009)
Same routine, woke up quite early again. We took a long bus ride and pause at approximately 7.35am to have a toilet break before proceeding to a place with a beautiful waterfall. It was said that the water there is the best natural mineral water. Because we had limited time, we ran up to a temple above the mountain. I was totally exhausted when I reached up, but was happy because I'd gotten a closer look at the waterfall. Haha, according to our tour guide, the tunnels and ways up to the temple were built by the olden people. They practically used bombs to explode the whole place. Those who planted the bomb of course had to sacrifice because they had to tick it off before the bomb can be exploded. So, lots of people died just for the roads. You can really see that it was man-made because of the uneven walls. Haha. After that, we went to a place which resembles very much of a chalet or a resort to have lunch. Quite nice la, but not as yummy as ones in Singapore. We went to a shopping center to walk around too and took some pictures with the statues. I think I bought my school shoes from there too. ^^ After that, we went to a place called love river to get a ride on the boat. However, when we went down of the bus, the weather was frigging cold till everyone cannot stand it. Adding oil to the fire, we had to queue in the cold for 1 hour plus before we can get a ride. Most of them disagreed but my brother wanted to ride, so this was their conversation.

Tour Guide: Anyone wants a ride? If everyone doesn't want, we'll cancel this one and move on to our next journey.
Brother: HUH. I want to ride...
(My family and I whispers: Oi.. You want to stand in the cold meh?)
Brother: Don't want.
(Just as the tour guide was deciding not to go, someone says, "Wo yao!". But we know that he was kidding. Haha.)

So, we went to have dinner and went to a night market (I forgot the name. :x). Haha, I bought a hair clip with leopard print on it for Best. My brother and I shared pop corns too. Haha, bought a very pretty shorts there @ NT360 I think. Haha. We soon went back to our hotel to rest. What a tiring yet great day! ^^ I'm beginning to love Taiwan on the 3rd day. Haha.

Day 4. (20 dec 2009)
Our day started off with us waking up, having breakfast and proceeding to the "85 building". Haha, breakfast in Taiwan was always funny. All because I would take all kinds of eggs they provide, be it hard boil eggs, scrambled eggs, sunny side up, etc etc. So, we went up all the way to the 85th level and it was fun because in the lift, you see all sorts of like "stars". You can also see the speed that the lift is moving at. When we reached up stairs, there were lots of pictures and things, so we took pictures with it. However, the scenery at the top of the building wasn't as great as I expected. The air was extremely polluted and I think we should be glad we're living in Singapore. The air isn't as polluted here. ^^ After that, we were on our way down in the lift and my cousin was suggesting that we take pictures of the "stars" in the lift. Haha, and the people in the lift joked, "let's take the lift up again then". So, we meet up at the Christmas tree there and proceeded to the Hakka village. I had real fun there! First, we were brought to try out the wulong tea I think. But I didn't. After that, we proceeded out to buy a candy floss which is so huge I could hug it like a pillow. My cousin and I took a picture with me hugging it! Lol, and the people there were looking at us. Lol. After that, we went out to try out the games. My aunty and uncles were like persuading me to play the hula hoop. Lol. So, I did. After that, we tried out a lot of traditional games that the olden people played. We saw people carrying the dragon and running around, and found it fun. So, my cousin, brother and I tried out, running around with the frigging heavy dragon. Haha. After that, we proceeded to Sun Moon lake. It's a lake which looks like a Sun and a Moon at both ends. Haha. Not much, but sight-seeing. After that, we went to Wen Wu temple. There was a guy who is dressed like the olden-days-woken-up-from-death-soldiers and earning a living from taking pictures with tourists. Haha, he was damn funny. My brother went to take a picture with him, then he started to high-five non-stop with my brother. Then, he think my brother's crazy, he put his hand on my brother's head and checked if he had fever. Lol. Next, we went to the Tai Chung Feng Jia Night Market. Bought quite a lot of things but couldn't remember what was it. Haha. We went to a wonderful place to have dinner. One of the best dinner in Taiwan. The place was done up very beautifully. Even the toilet! Haha, the whole place was practically made up of wood. Haha, like barbarians kind of place. After that, we went back to our oh-so-wonderful hotel. There's like the tatami, sauna, and a flat screen tv. What's better then that? Lol!

I'll continue again next time. Stay tune!

Bite hard,

2009-12-27T20:01:00.004+08:00

Only Boyf and Best knows about this blog for now. I'll let Zenna, Rena and Ky know soon. With this, I doubt I need to private my blog already right (maybe later)? Because I'm so lazy to log in. I trust they won't give my links out. ^^ So, I won't expect any other tags from others. Hee. ^^

(Edited.)
I love reading. It buries your sorrows. You should try it. ^^

Moodless yet again,

2009-12-27T11:24:00.003+08:00

Changed url again. I kinda love it. ^^ I'm moody again. After I start to think about school. Why? I was thinking of the loneliness I'm going to have without Best with me, how quiet I would had been like the first day of school during sec 1, how hard it was to make friends, the fear of a bad form teacher, a bad class, studies being more difficult to cope then ever before (because my mother hadn't let me drop my higher chinese yet, and I still had my pure physics.). Sighs.

Why is life like that. And I hadn't done my chinese homework yet. Wtf, school's reopening in 8 days. WHY MUST THERE BE A WORD "SCHOOL" IN THE FRIGGING DICTIONARY. -.-

Black,

2009-12-26T14:45:00.004+08:00

I just want to say... I had fun disturbing Best ytd night. HAHAHAHA. ^^ Wanna know more about it, go view her bloggy kay. Me lazy to post.

I <3 yesterday, today, pink, boyf, best. ^^

(Edited.)
Don't criticize others when you yourself don't deserve any compliments.

Merryyy late christmas,

2009-12-26T00:51:00.004+08:00

Best's at my house. ^^ We were supposed to celebrate christmas but I wonder if Best's enjoying it. ^^ So, I meet Kaiying at around 4pm and we waited at kfc for Best. I was on the phone with Boyf. ^^ We went up to my house. Haha, it's messy, I know. ^^ But I had already tried my best to packed it nicely. First, Best gave me a MJ t-shirt and I lub it to the max. I lub her mre. ^^ Tyvm, best! Hope you like the "hat" and the rest I'd given. ^^ We surfed the net, and caught up on each other's life. My brother had been admitted to the hospital, due to some reason. O_O. Rena couldn't make it last minute and Zen has got some problems. Ky couldn't stay over, so, it's me and Best again. HAHA. Lol.

Actually, wanted to go to orchard but decided not to because my mother set a limited time. -.- We went to anchorpoint to eat kfc. ^^ And walked walked walked. Arnd 8.40pm, sent Ky to the bus stop. Best and I walked back. Haha, we used com awhile thn went down again to buy snacks. Don't laugh, I know I'm pig. ^^ We planned to watch show but we understanded none of it. Wtf. Lol, maybe gonna catch Mr Bean later. HAHAHAHA.

P/S: My boyf's still in the toilet, shitting! LOL. ^^

A pink merry christmas.

What's wrong,

2009-12-25T14:49:00.002+08:00

I waited one whole morning and till now, I haven't received your call.
You changed.

(Edited.)
YA, YOU FCUKING BIG SHIT OVER HERE. YOUR SON IS GOING TO BE ADMITTED TO THE HOSPITAL AND WHEN I ASK YOU, YOU STILL CAN SHOUT AND SAY YOU DON'T KNOW AND CARRY ON WITH YOUR FCUKING COMPUTER. GO ON. FCUKER. WHAT KIND OF FATHER IS THIS.

PinkPink,

2009-12-25T12:51:00.003+08:00

I hate the fact that my room is so fcuking cramped up.

Dear Santa,
Send me to wonderland, full of happiness and pink. & make my loved ones happy all year round. I'll definitely try my best to be as good as gold.

I love pink,

2009-12-25T11:48:00.007+08:00

I miss Taiwan very much. Not saying that I wouldn't miss Boyf and Best when I go there. I hope they migrate over with me. Well, Singapore is a place where all my sorrows begun. I think, it will never stop. Anyway, I shall post about Taiwan next day. You know, 7 days. I can write more than a 1000 word composition okay? So, definitely not today.

P/S: Merry Christmas, and a happy belated birthday to my dear Zenna. ^^
I miss you, Boyf.

Tears, not happy ones, was the first to greet me when I touched down. Why is Singapore, my homeland, like this?

I rode many rides in Leofoo village theme park in Taiwan. I felt so light so happy. This particular, I loved best. It goes all the way up, drops all the way down, and come up from the other side, a straight one. Then it drops and continued. It was terrific. At Taiwan, I tried the 360 degree roller coaster for the very first time. I loved it. Really great. I was scared at first. But after a few tries, nope. I'm not scared, becos when I open my eyes, I knew even if I were to drop down, death would hug me tightly.

2009-12-18T21:18:00.005+08:00

Boyf, I guess this is the only form of communication. D: And I also have to leave this place soon. Well, I miss you alot alot alot you know. Now 9 plus, you shld be finished work already right? I can come to blog because my hotel today got free internet. But I cnnt use for long because my parents are here too. Anway, temperature here is damn cold, as I told you via Jia Min's msg. ^ ^ I wish I can hug you, you know? Rest well after your work this few days leh. Because I want to see a healthy you when I come back kay? I don't like it here because I can't be with you and Best. D: D: D: We went to a place today, and we had to climb a long flight of stairs. We took the bullet train today too! ^ ^

The tour bus drove through many mountains you knw. And it's freaking scary because of the height. Also, the road were pratically destroyed by typhoons last month and we had traffic jams. Roar! At night, we watched a dance performace and ate dinner at our hotel. Lunch was beef noodles. It was delicious, and I meant the noodles itself. Not the beef. Lol! ^ ^ We went walking arnd some place. I don't know where it is but it sells the stinky toufu. ZZZ. Really very very smelly you know. Haha, dinner sucked to the core. Because I don't eat most of the food there. (You knw what a fussy eater I'm yeah?) ^ ^ I miss you alot leh. 5 more days! How are you going these few days? Fine? Got miss me not? Me miss you leh. You got receive the msgs I sent you not?

Reply me in my blog hor. If I go somemre hotels and got internet, I would definitely come and see. Well, it's 9.24pm alr. Gtg. D: Goodnight and sweet dreams. I lub you foreva and only. Take care okay? I miss you very much. *Sobs*

I miss my boyf,

2009-12-16T21:31:00.002+08:00

I'm really very very sad. Because I'm missing Boyf and Best so freaking much. Boyf you know, I cannot live without you. Same for Best. D:

Happy or sad,

2009-12-16T18:20:00.009+08:00

Today, I can say it's my most unlucky day from the day I was born. First, I decided to met Best to go to Boyf's working place. (Which I haven't asked for permission from my parents till this morning.) I was freaking scared to ask permission from my father because my mother had already went to work by the time I woke up. So straight after breakfast, I decided that I shouldn't waste anymore time and just pluck up my courage to get the bloody words outta my mouth. So I'd gotten the permission and I went off to bathe.

After bathing, I watched tv and talked to Boyf awhile before heeding down to the bus-stop with my library books in hand, planning to return it on the way. When I reached the bus-stop and was about to board 147 to the library, my brother called me and told me he had a book at my aunty house, and asked me to go to my aunty house to get it and return it with my altogether. So, instead of boarding the bus, I went to the other bus-stop which was worlds apart. While walking, I say the stupid 195 left. I was freaking angry. So, I tried to be patient, and wait for the next 195. I was rushing like hell because I was supposed to meet Best at 12.30 but when the 195 came, it was already 12.15. When I reached depot, I immediately ran up to my aunty house, taking the library books and left. I was about to walk to the bus-stop when I realised I didn't have enough coins to board the bus.

So, I went up again to my aunty house to take a few coins for the bus fare. When I went down once again, I was walking, quite relived that I still had enough time. Suddenly, some bloody bird shitted on my bloody shirt. Not only that, I realised although I had the coins with me, I left my library books on the table. -.- I went up to take it, changed, and ran to the bus-stop, boarding 57 soon. I ran to the library, dropped everything. Straight away, I ran back to the interchange and board 5 which arrived when I reached the interchange. In the end, instead of meeting Best at 12.30, we ended meeting up at 1.00.

So, we took the train to raffles. ^^ Guess what? Two best friends got lost in raffles, confused with OUB building, UOB building and OBD building. God damn. Lol. But after walking round and round, we found sakae sushi! ^^ I was so happy when I saw Boyf. ^^ He sneaked out for a moment and brought us to somewhere to get our lunch before he proceeded back to work. We ate at a place called Qian Li Xiang. I ate char kway teow, Best ate Chai tao kuay. ^^ The people working there actually thought we were going there for an interview. Lol. After that, me and Best went to a lake side/pool/drain/river (I don't know. :x) to take pictures until it started raining then we ran back to Boyf's workplace. Bought donut for Boyf as well as ourselves. I also bought a watch for Boyf. ^^

We waited for Boyf's break, before we went to a shopping centre to walk around. We saw lots of things too. I bought a wallet for Best as her christmas present and Boyf bought the same wallet for me as a christmas present. (Both wallets were paid by rich Boyf, and I'll pay him $30 next day as I don't have money just now.) After buying, Boyf brought us on a long walk to the bus-stop. We skipped one 196 because I cannot bear to leave Boyf. But to me, in a split second, the next bus came. D: I hugged him very very very tightly. ^^ I miss him terribly now. On the bus, Best and I checked our wallets. My was perfectly fine. But, Best's one couldn't open at the start. HAHA. She was panicking like crazy! ^^ Best alighted after we hugged each other! ^^ I went home sweet home then.

Sorry for the long post. ^^

P/S: I managed to surprised Boyf! ^^ I'm so missing him and Best now. D: Sad.

Numb me,

2009-12-16T11:22:00.007+08:00

I've got a surprise for someone special today. Tomorrow is the day, and I'm so not looking forward. I think I said the reason why in the previous post. Yeah. Anyway, my eyes are bloodshot, I don't know why. Maybe because yesterday I watch tv watch too long already, then my eyes become very red. So, today, it's damn damn reddy. Haha, I finished my book (Abandoned) already. ^^ I'm so tired. Because I slept at around 1am. Maybe to some people, it's very early. But to me, obviously it's not. ^^

I'm talking to Boyf on the phone now before he starts his work. ^^

Kay, bye.

Verge of breaking down,

2009-12-15T20:14:00.012+08:00

Hi, I'm leaving for Taiwan in 2 days time. Tell me. Should I be sad or happy. I'd been feeling low every single day. Very very low. I had been hiding my feelings, and would continue to do so. Because it just benefits my relationship, friendship and kinship. I don't want to go to Taiwan because I would definitely miss boyf. Imagine 7 days without contacting. Sighs. I've no idea how I feel. Neither do I have any words to describe it. I felt even worse when I'm all alone. Just having me, myself and I to talk to. I juts want to cry. Cry, like a helpless child. Ya' know?

No one knows. No one knows how hard it's to supress all the feeling. How much I long to cry. How helpless am I but. No, I needed to be strong for everyone to see. Nightmares, who loves it? I feel so numb all over. I wanna dig a hole and hide inside till death knocks on the door.

(I realised that, the more I posted on my blog, the more I cry. Why?)
(Because, I know I'm letting things out.)

MJ, save me, will you?

Heartfelt,

2009-12-14T10:55:00.002+08:00

Happy 17th monthsary Boyf! ♥
Once again. ^^ I'm happy of course.
We'll never be apart. I lub you, one person forever. ^^

The thought of me not being able to contact Boyf & Best for one whole week makes feel negatively towards the trip to Taiwan. D:

Postive or Negative,

2009-12-13T22:03:00.002+08:00

I had a day out with Best. I'm happy becos I've not seen her for so long. ^^ (Post another day.)

What am I living for really? I really want to be a small small small kid. No worries, no nothing. The hardest part of life: learning not to cry, not even allowed to express the pain of it. Pretending to feel nothing. Who can understand it?

Light up my face with gladness,

2009-12-12T18:46:00.003+08:00

Almost everytime I'm alone, I think about that. Just like now. I've been smsing Boyf & Best, to try to stop thinking. Could I? I wished I could. But. You know, I just can't. I know you may find what I'm typing crappy. Don't read it.

Everytime I close my eyes, I picture that moment again. It's haunting me.

Best, don't worry. I'm fine. ^^

I want to stop my life right now,

2009-12-12T12:00:00.004+08:00

I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad.

I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life.

I didn't copy and paste. I just, want to have a place to let things out. Becos no one else is there to listen to craps. And, I don't even think I have the face to tell anyone.

I want to die.

Bye.

Opposition,

2009-12-11T15:27:00.002+08:00

Everything is opposing me. Great.

Who knows I'm thinking of? No one. Not even me, myself and I.

Perturbed,

2009-12-11T10:28:00.004+08:00

I met boyf yesterday, and I'm happy.

I felt so weak yesterday. Couldn't even open my eyes. Least, move a finger.

I don't wish to wake up in the middle of the night because of nightmares, and cry my heart out all over again.

No one cares,

2009-12-10T09:36:00.009+08:00

I'm living in a world, where no one seems to care. I cried, I really did. "Why me?", I asked myself thousands of times. Yet, no one tells me the answer. Becos, no one bothers.
Hi, Bye.
I just got to realised how lonely living on Earth was. If I had a choice, I'd pray God. Take away my lowly life. If living in Earth was that kind of a pain, I would rather live in hell. It makes no difference. Does it?

Sour,

2009-12-08T19:55:00.003+08:00

Went out with Jelynn yesterday at 4pm (It was a last minute decision) even though I was feeling nauseous. She wanted to paint her nails and dragged me along. We headed down to bugis and she didn't even want to tell me where we were going at first. Lol. When we reached, we went to look around. Saw many pretty shoes. T_T, envy. My cousin bought a heels at $9.90 and it was freaking nice. Cool or cool. -.- She got a leopard top matched with a long sleeve slip over at $15 (?). I bought a shoes (blue) to be worn to taiwan at $10, I was a happy girl.

Proceeded to doing nails. I didn't want it. My cousin forced me and now my fingers look like some kind of ghost (becos my cousin recommended GREEN and I said ANYTHING. OMG.) I don't like it, becaue I'm so rough. I kept touching it, and I think I wasted my money. Haha.We headed to OG to buy a christmas present for Jeyvier (the baby). Haha, we split the cost half half. Got ourselves some ice cream before proceeding home.

In the bus, I almost vomitted. My face was pale like sheet (like what my cousin described). Tsk, lucky never faint. :D Hmm, went home, had dinner and talked to boyf. Haha. Today, stayed at home. Yup, that's about it.

Bye.

I miss my Best v v v v v v v v v v v v v v much. T_T
Gonna meet Boyf this thursday if my mother allow. :D
I hate life, I really do.

Morose,

2009-12-07T12:51:00.003+08:00

Hello, both my Boyf and Best are working. No one to sms. Sadded. D:

Bye. (Still sick. D;) ~~Who had ever had something stuck within you and you couldn't tell anyone about it?~~

Worrying,

2009-12-05T20:45:00.001+08:00

Hi, about Thursday. :D Went down to the bus-stop to pick Best up. We started off with reading our books, then off to using the computer. Haha, there, Best took a very very very long ~~~ time to post. (HAHAHAHA.) After that, we went down to have lunch. Best had porridge due to ______ & I had char kway teow (Or however you spell it. Haha.) Best had difficulty eating. Scary seeing her suffer ... After eating, went to purchase fries from the fast food stall. Waited for a moment, before returning home.

Went down once again but this time was to look at clothes. However, none caught our eyes. Best had a try on the "catch catch" machine. She was quite confident but, because there was time limit and she didn't realised, we failed. D: So, we had a slow walk up our home. Read book and chatted. We also went down to the child care to pick Kennzo and his sister up to play with them. Haha, Kennzo's sister was very cute. Just a few chats and "secret telling", Best became her best friend! Arg, how dare she steal my Best Best. (Hahahaha.)

Dinner, we had hor fun. Haha, same as usual, a long time, but it was fun. :D Best and I caught the nine o'clock drama together. :D After that, we went into the room and read our books. Best went to bathe, and we head to bed soon.

~~(Continue with this post next day. Cos I'm tired. D:)~~

(Monday, 7 December, 2009)
Sorry for not posting yesterday. Was down with a fever. Well, I'm still having it now. 38.8 degrees. Continued with the next day of the stay over. I woke up quite early but went back to sleep. We officially woke up at 10, because Best and I were lazing in bed. Haha. Best woke up with a bad pain in her tongue, not allowing her to talk very smoothly. I washed up and prepared breakfast. However, poor Best couldn't even swallow ham. D: So, she only drank milo for breakfast. Best went to bathe soon after. I helped her in removing her barbell successfully. Luckily she didn't cried. ^ ^ I went home, and get ready to meet boyf. Haha. That's all.

What if ...

Cruelty,

2009-12-05T15:10:00.002+08:00

Hi, I had a great time with MinB the past two days. (I'll post about this later on.)
On Friday, meet Boyf too. :D (Post later too.)

Just want to talk about cruelty today.
Yesterday, I ate black pepper crab. But. It wasn't a great feast nor meal.
Reason being, I was guilty. Before, the piece of meat even entered my mouth, I saw the crab. ALIVE. It was alive, pending for its death, to be clearer. While eating it, I felt like a murderer. Because, I just took an innocent life away. Wtf.

But, what can I do? I hate vegetables. D: Sighs.

2009-12-03T16:50:00.003+08:00

HI. I'M NOT CASSANDRA (DING DONG). CASSANDRA IS MY MUAAAA MAAAAH. HAHAH. AND SHE'S A RETARD.

Six four,

2009-12-03T11:39:00.004+08:00

Boo? :D I'm waiting for Best! Haha, I think she's waiting for bus now. She went to eat breakfast before coming here. Hee, excited... Boyf's going to work in 20 minutes. Miss him. D:

Bye~

(Edited)
Gonna go to the bus-stop to fetch Best now. :D See ya~

Set me thinking once again,

2009-12-02T13:17:00.006+08:00

Haha, I'm here to post again. :x

After reading Best's tag about fathers in the world, I was reminded about MJ again. Aw. The greatest man, father, friend, idol to others (me included), icon, family ever lived. & again, the true humanitarian.

Tsk, sorry for my craziness. Bear with it! :x

Ps: On page 67 now. :D

(Edited.)
"Lies run sprints, but the truth runs marathons." - MJ.
It's very very true.

"It pains me to watch the human suffering taking place in the Gulf region of my country."
One word, kind-hearted.

Bye. & I really hate you, to the core. (Although I know I shouldn't do that.)

Things not meant to be told,

2009-12-02T12:11:00.002+08:00

Hi, monkeys, donkeys and turkeys. :D

I had a really great day out with Best, Ky and Faye yesterday at Anchorage. I wanted to talk about in yesterday but was too lazy to even post. But the main things are, Best and I broke our record, 3.09 km. We ran for 30minutes. :D Planning to exchange my book with Best once we finished reading. Hee. She's halfway through hers already. Fast huh?

Going to rot at home today. Ps, I'd been going to toilet for a lot of times already. Looks like diarrhoea is approaching. D;

Great moments are meant to be remembered.
Not talked or gossiped about.

One of my many thoughts,

2009-12-01T11:11:00.004+08:00

Dear me,

Hi, I'm going to my house w/ Best, Ky & Faye to swim/gym ltr on. (Looking forward. I miss my Best.) Well, I woke up today and my flu was gone. Yay! But as I drank my milo, I realised that I was about to have some sore throat. ._. Haha, stupid.

Ignore this.
Yes, I shld jolly well stop all my f-ing nonsense. Hating, jealousy. (For what?) Everybody had their own lifes. I shouldn't keep poking my nose into other's ones. Even if they don't find me irritating, I find myself very very idiotic. Yeah, that's all I'm going to say.

Continue with this. :D
Haha. I've just woken Best and Ky up. Felt so guilty for waking someone up from her sleep. :x
I find it kinda rude to wake someone up. Just like I wouldn't want someone to wake me up. Because, I never wanted to wake up and face this terrible world once again.

Byebye.

& Divide my sadness,

2009-11-30T20:02:00.011+08:00

Hi,

~~I'm very very very very very bored. I'm missing three person. (BF, B, MJ.)~~

~~Hmmmmmmmm, I've got nothing to do... ARG. IRRITATING.~~

~~Why am I such a retard spamming my boredom on my blog.~~

~~Go to hell, bitch!~~

~~My stomach's growling even though I've eaten. Stupidity. ._.~~

~~Bye,~~

~~& TYVM for reading my craps. HAHAHAHA.~~

Hi (again.),

Sorry for my craps up there. But this time, I'm not posting for the sake of posting. :D I've been sneezing and sneezing like a crazy idiot, cursing and swearing for god's help. Haha. Just suddenly, I caught a cold/flu? >_<

Missing Boyf! D:

Bye.

Multiply my hapiness,

2009-11-30T16:09:00.004+08:00

Hi,

I guess I'm currently blogging for the sake of blogging only. Haha? Help my aunty to cook curry today. Peeled potatoes, cooked chilli, etc. Haha, you really can tear if you cook it. It's spicy! :D Jeyvier had been a good boy today. He hadn't cried since... 1pm? Haha, cute.

Bye.

What's the sweetening talks & pretense for? I don't need it. I only want you to show you really care. That's all.

Wet,

2009-11-29T21:20:00.000+08:00

Hi,
This is something that I've just decided. From today onwards, I'll start posting with proper English (no short forms, etc). I don't know about the reason why, just feel like it. I've changed my blogskin. Many thanks to Best too for helping out.

Boyfriend, why are you taking so long to reply me message?
I love you.

Best, cheerup. :D
I love you.

Look how great MJ was with kids. :D

Prayers,

2009-11-29T18:21:00.002+08:00

Hi, Best told me she is alright alr. I hope it's true! :D Best, dnt sad, I love you!

MJ IS CUTE. HE LOVED CARTOONS. :DDDDD
"I never believed that the grass wasn't greener. The sky isn't falling, I didn't stop breathing. I still breathe." - Michael Jackson.

I don't understand,

2009-11-29T09:21:00.007+08:00

Hi,
I'm going to have breakfast soon.
Boyf haven't wake up. D: (Sadness.)
Haha, ltr going to have piano. ._.
I haven't really practice it. :x
Best, zen, rena and ky maybe coming to my house. (Yayness.)
Shld be all got come, unless some cnnt make it. Haha.
Kay, bye.

I love Boyf & Best.

(Deleted, nah, I'm undaunted. :D)

They not coming le, cos I didn't inform them earlier. D: Sorry! :x
Best ah Best. I damn worried bout' you
Please tell me what happened! D:
You promised not to keep anything to urself! D:
爱死你！

Haha, my boyf's watching fantastic 4! LOL.
LOVE YOU VERY MUCH! :D

Innocent teaching,

2009-11-28T13:21:00.004+08:00

Just wondering, how great will it be if the children of the world become the teachers instead.
It'll definitely teach the world a valuable lesson - to be pure & innocent.
Our world will be a much happier world without troubles, won't it?

A true humanitarian, Michael Jackson.

Sad sad,

2009-11-27T21:09:00.002+08:00

Hais, my mum's going off to germany tmr.
Early in the morning. So going to send her off at the airport.
Rmb to call me, mummy. (Although I knw you'll never see this.)
Actually, since young, I always reminded you to call me everyday,
just becos I'm afraid you'll abandon me. (I dnt knw why.)
& also just to make sure, that you're safe and sound!

I miss MJ frigging mucha. D:

Holiday,

2009-11-27T10:51:00.003+08:00

Well, gonna stay at home (not my aunty hse) today becos my parents ain't working.
I think going to Chinatown with my mother and aunty ltr. :D
(Although I dnt knw for wht, I guess just to pass time.)

Saw this about MJ on the internet.
"There is no disputing the fact that he is the greatest musical artist of all time."
Haha, sorry if I had offended anyone who have other idols.
But I'm really proud to be a MJ fan~ :D

Conrad Murray (MJ's doctor) waited for over an hour to call 911 after discovering Michael Jackson had stopped breathing, a newly realeased court document shows. - 22 nov.
(Oh, fcuk you stupid asshole doctor. -'-)

Bye.

In a dilemma,

2009-11-26T18:32:00.008+08:00

I miss MJ really really really much. D:
It seems like I knew him for thousands and thousands of years befre.
That picture very cool right? (Say yes la, just make me happy abit. HAHA.) Love him! <3

I was just sitting down, staring at four walls.
& I started to think.

What if I were to lead my life, alone in this world?

I just wnt to say.
Dnt ever steal my Boyf, Best, or Clique away from me.
I'll turn, very very nasty. :D

Elated,

2009-11-26T17:55:00.003+08:00

Haha, my appeal for triple maths was approved.
I'm happy, but that means, 8th subject next year. T_T
Best got into history too. Woots! (High five best~)
Meet best to view appeal results. (Happy.)
Best bought her ear studs @ QW.
Thn proceeded to anchorpoint to have lunch. (Kfc)
Bought a friendship keychain w/ Best. (Yay. :D)
Wnt into my house, and changed into our gym attire.
Starting exercising.
Outcome: 30 mins (running) 3 mins (stepping that whtever) <- ps, I dnt knw how to describe.
Wnt to changed into our swimming costume.
Was utterly exhausted @ tht time. (Omg.)
Hmm, after that, chatted in the swimming pool. :D
Wnt for steambath @ 3.45. & after that, we started to wash up.
195-ed home with Best. She wnt to Tiong to meet her brother.
Have fun ltr, Best! :D Love you lots and lots. :D
Overall, a very happy day with Best. :D

Boyf has been working lately. Dnt work too hard, ltr sick.
Love you vvm. :D

Filled with envy,

2009-11-25T20:26:00.006+08:00

I feel so envious whenever I see people pampering themselves becos they have the money.
Why can't I be a stupid rich little asshole. ._.

Why do you choose to _ _ _ _ me. I'm not some kinda very up to date person. Haha. ~

Undauntedcassy.blogspot.com
How about this? :D Luv it.

A desperate man will cling onto anything that catches his eyes.
This applies, to everyone.

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
Can I cry and smile at the same time thn?

Precious,

2009-11-24T21:06:00.003+08:00

Hello,
Wnt out with boyf today. :DD
Hmm, meet @ his telok blangah.
Haha, wnt up to his grandma house,
and saw his aunt. (Omg. & she doesn't even mind.)
Hmm, wnt to bugis after tht.
Walked arnd. Saw many things.
Bought 1 jeans for $28. (There goes my $$. T_T.)
Bused to orchard. Walked arnd far east.
Haha, couldn't buy the bag I wnted. (Rmb, Best and Zen?)
Cos, dnt have the colour. D:
Anyway, wnt to depot soon after.
Chatted with Boyf awhile thn wnt home.
Had a great day with Boyf. :DD
Bathed and ate dinner.
Wnt home, and down to anchorpoint to do some window shopping.

Saw 2 things that I wnt to buy:
1. Jacket (cotton on) - 2 for $30. (Going to buy one, and the other for mum.)
2. Shoes (charles and keith) - $19.90 - $21.90

Hmm, craving for a shopping spree. D:

Arg, Best, appeal results are out. DDDDDDDDDDDD;
Sadded.

Boyf, I love you alot alot. :D
Best, I love you alot alot too! :D
& Ky, hope you had enjoyed your trip. :D
Clique, I miss you. D:

Boredom,

2009-11-23T20:59:00.002+08:00

Hi.

I'm frigging boredddd.
I'm frigging boredddd.
I'm frigging boredddd.

& this damn stupid computer cnnt copy and paste.
._. ._. ._. ._. ._. ._.

Going out with Boyf tmr. :D

BORED.